TV: True Blood (Finale)

True Blood
Drama, Fantasy, Mystery

I've been saying to the little sister since this last season began that everyone would die... well, that didn't happen. As soon as Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) was cured I realised there would be a stereotypical happy ending. I was actually terribly disappointed in the finale: it felt like they had just tacked an ending onto a normal episode, like they had only been given two episodes to wrap it all up instead of an entire season.

Highlights were the Eric and Ginger (Tara Buck) finally getting it on, Bill (Stephen Moyer) splooshing all over Sookie (Anna Paquin), Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten) and Eric's infomercial for New Blood and Lafayette (Nelson Ellis) and James (Nathan Parsons). *swoons* Points of annoyance: Alcide (Joe Manganiello) copping it to the head - I know, not this episode but it still stings! - Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) and Hoyt's (Jim Parrack) whirlwind wedding... how did that make any sense? Oh, Hoyt, by the way, we used to date but I screwed your best friend and then made you forget all about it... now let's get married before my maker keels over: true love! And the ending... ugh!

Special mention of the reappearance of show favourites: Nan Stackhouse (Lois Smith) and Steve Newlin (Michael McMillan).

Now that it's all over I have to find a new show to have family date nights with...

2 out of 5 naked Eric's...cos why the hell not?! Umph...

TV: The Last Ship SE1 EP4

The Last Ship
Action, Drama, Sci Fi

'Murica! This is a Michael Bay (Transformers) show, so we already know that it's America leading the charge to save the world (somehow), complete with awesome explosions and big guns! I've been watching lots of Robot Chicken lately and this skit they did made me laugh so hard!

It's yet another dystopian... This ship has been out in the Arctic for three months with no radio contact with anyone. When they finally try to contact the mainland, there is no response. While they've been away a disease has spread throughout the world killing almost everyone. Lucky for humankind, a scientist was on the ship and she has a way to engineer a cure... eventually.

It's not all that fabulous. Lots of America is the world power and will win the battle kind of stuff. The only couple of actors I recognise are Adam Baldwin (Firefly) and Eric Dane (Grey's Anatomy)... although it took me a while to realise that Rhona Mitra was not Kate Beckinsale though she did star in one of the Underworld films.

It's been a month, they've replenished their food and arms but now the ship is falling apart and they're running out of water... Other than that, not a lot seems to happen and I'm not sure where they will go with this show or if I will actually keep watching it. Also, not as many explosions as I would expect of Michael Bay...

2 out of 5 explosions...

Movie: Grand Piano (2013)

Grand Piano
Mystery, Thriller

I was already a bit jaded on this film after watching just the preview. I knew there would be lots of awesome piano playing which is what I was looking forward to. What I wasn't looking forward to was the thriller side of it... really? Play my pretty, or die! *evil laugh*

Tom, played by Elijah Wood (Lord of The Rings, Sin City) is the brightest piano player of his generation married to the brightest movie star of her generation (Kerry Bishe). Tom has been avoiding performing for 5 years after choking on stage, until his wife sets up a comeback concert. I would be so peeved at her for doing that. Not only does he have the pressure to play well after the failure of his last performance and his wife has set him up this lovely comeback, but he is also being threatened by some crazy person who just so happens to be played by John Cusack (High Fidelity, Being John Malkovich).

In saying all that... I did want this movie to be terrible... but it wasn't entirely. Even though Cusack is a disembodied voice for all but 5 minutes of the film and I actually thought it was all in the pianists head until people started dying, I didn't hate it. The plot was wafer thin and the one part that was interesting was cut off. It's not something I would normally pick up and enjoy... but it wasn't terrible... Kudos to Elijah Wood for actually playing most of those pieces, amazing. Can't say I'll be watching this again though, that's why it gets:

2 out of 5 conductors...

TV: True Detective SE1 EP3

True Detective
Crime, Drama

I'd seen this on my list of new shows but I didn't even bother with it at first thinking it was just another detective show and I have enough of those at the moment. Then my sister linked me the above trailer and I realized that I absolutely had to give it a go. For a start, it's HBO who have been responsible for True Blood, Game of Thrones and The Newsroom. Then of course there's Woody Harrelson (Zombieland, Natural Born Killers) and Matthew McConaughey (The Lincoln Lawyer, Magic Mike) together! It's like they were made for each other.

McConaughey plays smart and strange Rust Cohle. He's cold and calculating but he's a fantastic detective. His monologues alone are worth watching this show. His partner Martin Hart (Harrelson) is the more stable, typical detective. He spends most of his time trying to figure his partner out, poor fella. The show revolves around these two detectives, their partnership and an old murder case. The timeline flicks back and forth between telling the story of the case in the present and the past where the case occurred.

I like that it's set in the past (I think it's mid-90's) and the use of computers and mobile phones is not apparent - it's a real detective story. The two leads are insanely good of course, they hold the focus of the viewer even if you can't always understand what they (Cohle) are saying. The tension between the two detectives is obvious, as are the personal problems of each and the fact that somewhere along the line, something happened in the investigation. I also think I remember a snippet in the first episode where the present time detectives interviewing Cohle and Hart admit that the murderer is back. I have a feeling they think Cohle is responsible. I guess we'll see.

I'm intrigued to continue because of McConaughey and Harrelson. I've heard the second season has been picked up already, unsurprisingly, and HBO expect big things. So far it's a bit slow but I'm enjoying the way its shot and the characters. I'll give it more time before it gets a better rating from me.

2 out of 5 LSD flashbacks...

TV: Sleepy Hollow SE1 EP10

Sleepy Hollow
Adventure, Drama, Fantasy

Ten episodes for a first season is not enough to get a good grasp on what is going on, in my opinion. We all know I prefer longer seasons though, don't we? I was recommended this show by the girls from book club. We enjoy this style of fantasy show and I have to admit it's not terrible. It could quite easily be extremely corny but somehow it manages to pull it off...just.

Loosely based off of the 1820 short story by Washington Irving The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. Swoon-worthy Ichabod Crane - played by Tom Mison (One Day) - is resurrected by his long dead witch wife, Katrina (Katia Winter) after 200 odd years in the grave, in order to battle a demon Moloch and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Ichabod and his police officer partner Abbie Mills (Nicole Beharie) are called as Witnesses to the Apocalypse... which means what exactly? We don't really know just yet.

Honorable mentions to John Noble (Lord of the Rings) who features in a few episodes and plays a Sin Eater and Orlando Jones (Evolution) who plays Abbie's boss and captain.

This season didn't really resolve anything for me. Sure we found out about Ichabod and Katrina's son - I have a feeling that is not the last we will see of him - but there was only that tiny part about Moloch and nothing more about the Four Horsemen. That disappointed me. As far as finales go, it was pretty poo but I don't mind the show...

2 out of 5 headless horsemen...

TV: The Walking Dead SE4 EP8

The Walking Dead
Drama, Horror, Thriller

I had to write a post on this (even though I had other plans for today's post...) for a few reasons. I've been starting to hear complaints about this show, finally! I've been saying for a while that it's too much talk and not enough zombies, even though I've read the comics and they are almost following the same story line. All the talking is just so boring! After last week's episode I heard quite a bit more whinging... "Isn't this how last season ended?" Well, yeah.

I actually had a little bit of hope for The Governor (David Morrissey) when he found that family. Though when he killed Martinez (Jose Pablo Cantillo) I thought he might go even crazier and take out everyone but the little girl. Nope, instead he goes back to the same old stuff he was up to before and rallies the new camp behind him to take out the prison. I tried so hard not to spoiler this for people who haven't read the comics... but as soon as I saw that tank, I knew it was going over the fence.

This is actually a pretty major part in the comics because this is where Rick (Andrew Lincoln) and Carl (Chandler Riggs) lose Lori and Judy (I say lose because you never actually see them die...). Of course Lori is already gone... and now so is Judy. I'm actually surprised they didn't lose more people. Hershel (Scott Wilson) was gone as soon as The Gov caught him but I am surprised he didn't kill Michonne (Danai Gurira) first. Hershel couldn't run off and The Gov did have a vendetta against her. Silly.

I've been saying for a while now that it's not about the zombies anymore; they've almost figured out a way to deal with them so that they aren't a problem. It's all about the people now, the survivors and what they will do in order to continue living. But the repeat of The Governor is silly. I hope this is the last we see of him... though I will tell you there will be others like him further down the line.

My wildcard, Daryl (Norman Reedus) is still going. Maggie (Lauren Cohan) and Glenn (Steven Yeun) have been split up. Carl and Rick are on foot. Tyreese (Chad L. Coleman) will never die! Fences are down, prison is destroyed, they are all back on the road again! Will they run into Carol (Melissa McBride) do you think? I have a feeling it wasn't her that killed those people, I think she is covering for one of the girls. Hopefully the rest of this season will be a bit more exciting.

2 out of 5 eye patches...

PS. Mid-Season Finales AGAIN! Ugh!

TV: Agents of SHIELD SE1 EP6

Agents of SHIELD
Action, Drama, Sci Fi

I'm hearing along the grapevine (aka the internet) that I am not the only one disappointed in this show. They made this huge deal about it; this great new sci fi spin off of The Avengers. Sounds good on paper, what could go wrong? You would think with the combined genius of Joss Whedon (Buffy, The Cabin In The Woods) and his brother Jed Whedon (Dollhouse) together with the amazing world of Marvel with access to god knows how many actual superheroes would give us a freaking awesome show!... but no, not quite. The potential is there but it seems like they're falling short.

I was excited to see Cobie Smulders in the first ep, but not too excited because I had heard she wasn't a permanent fixture to the show. Maybe she will join after How I Met Your Mother finishes later this year? Then there was that two minute cameo by Samuel L Jackson (Django Unchained, Pulp Fiction) which was pretty cool. On the superhero side of things there was J. August Richards (Angel) with his climbing/jumping stuff (woo) and then Scorch (Louis Ozawa Changchien). Now we have Asgardian artifacts which has potential too...

Even with all this potential and the occasional minor super power, Agent Coulson (Clark Gregg) and his pretty stereotypical team seem to be just another glorified black ops group. Even though they keep mentioning the portal opening in New York and gods, aliens and people with powers, they just don't seem to play a major role in the show. I was kind of hoping for a Dark Angel or Dollhouse kind of thing. There is the mystery surrounding Coulson's death... 

I will give it a season and see how it plays out, but honestly, I expected more... is it just because I haven't read any of the comics?

2 out of 5 crappy superheroes...

Movie: The Chernobyl Diaries (2012)

The Chernobyl Diaries (2012)
Horror

I cannot think why I watched this except that I was on a very long plane ride and had a severe hankering for horror / thriller movies at the time... so much so that I watched every horror / thriller being offered on my flight - which was quite a few. This one stuck in my head though not for any good reason.

It's very Blair Witch - yes, we still liken these styles of films to this old '99 flick - in that there is a lot of hand-held camera shots, very shaky and very much vlog style. It's not the filming, or even the thriller part that caught my attention, it was Chernobyl itself and the rumours and myths surrounding it now.

The film is about a group of tourists who go on an Extreme Tourism day trip to the town of Pripyat, not too far from Chernobyl itself. Now we all know what happened there, right? Nuclear reactor four exploded and the surrounding areas - including Pripyat - had to be evacuated immediately... that's about 350,000 people, so there's still lots of stuff there. As much as this film is entirely fiction, the radiation levels have in fact dropped enough to allow people to visit Pripyat for short periods of time. If you want to see what it looks like now take a look at these 25 Years Later Photos by David Schindler. Looking through the photos makes me wonder if they did any filming on location. That would be difficult right? but if it's not on location they did a good job on the sets! Especially the Ferris Wheel.

Its a B-grade cast, of course, with the only recognisable name being Jesse McCartney and who is probably not someone a lot of people will know from looking at him as most of his work is voice work. The rest of the cast are uninteresting as actors and characters. The whole film had a gotchya feel to it; I kept expecting Uri to jump out when the last two were running around screaming yelling "Ah ha! Extreme Tourism! BAM!" and for it to have all been set up to scare them into being good little kiddies. Needless to say, it didn't end that way.

I liked that it's something that could actually exist, they are always the scariest thrillers. I jumped once, maybe twice so not that spooky. I wanted to get a closer look at the mutants! Wouldn't bother unless you're like me and ever so slightly intrigued by the idea of this story.

2 out of 5 mutant fish...

Movie: Flight (2012)

Flight (2012)
Drama

I was hopeful with this film due to the sick obsession I have with Air Crash Investigation. Plus it stars Denzel Washington (Training Day, Man On Fire) whose films I usually enjoy... Not so much with this one...

The story is of Whip Whitaker (what kind of ridiculous name is that? Try saying it ten times..) a pilot who's been at it for many years. One day his plane fail and he somehow manages to save it and about 100 or so passengers in totally improbable circumstances... But besides this bit of excitement, the movie was terribly boring and I felt horrible for making my husband sit through it.

The dialogue was boring, although I liked Whip sometimes, other times he was an ass and I felt confused most of the way through. Was he to blame or not? He definitely saved all those people, no one else could have done it. But how could he have gotten away with his lifestyle for so long? His lawyer played by Don Cheadle (Hotel Rwanda, Crash) said it best, he was an arrogant drunk and I didn't really like him.

Don't sit through this film! Even though Denzel was well fitted to the role and won some award for it, don't bother, not worth it.

2 out of 5 Air Crash Investigations...

Movie: Night of The Living Dead (1968)

Night of The Living Dead (1968)
Classic, Horror, Sci-Fi

I don't often watch older films but I have seen this one before, I mean who hasn't? It's a classic horror and one of the very first zombie movies ever. The black and white is not a problem for me and the fuzzy picture just adds to the effect. It's the soundtrack that does my head in. Some sounds like the crickets outside at night and the music playing from the jewelry box were overpowering and harsh to the ears but I'm going to put this down the age of the film.

The zombies are your typical shuffling undead but with looks more like the original Frankenstein than a modern day zombie. What I found a bit strange in this film was that they we able to use tools such as a brick or a crowbar to - if slowly and awkwardly - break into houses through doors and windows. You don't see that in any other zombie film that I can think of...

 The characters are pretty typical for the age, the woman is in screaming hysterics for most of the time and the man in the hero saving her as the zombies shuffle up to her unbeknownst. The typical group formations and fractions happen, as in any other zombie movie and we lose some people of course but it doesn't have the same scariness to it as the recent films.

If you know anything about the horror genre then you know who George A. Romero is and that this is just one of many of his classic horror films. He is the on screen pioneer of the monsters we still see today and your not a film buff without having seen at least a few of his movies.

Still not something I would watch more than once in a blue moon.

2 out of 5 Pegg Plugs...

Sorry Simon!

Movie: Magic Mike (2012)

Magic Mike (2012)
Biography, Comedy, Drama

Ok, so as much as I know this is based on a true story and that true stories don't always have a clear-cut conclusion, this movie pissed me off. I'd heard from others that what this movie was lacking in plot line, it made up for in hotness. Yeah, I'll give you some of that, but it wasn't the lack of plot that got to me, it was the lack of conclusion.

Before I rail on and on about how annoyed I am by this movie, lets take a look at the steaming cast. We have Channing Tatum (Dear John, Haywire) as Magic Mike; shameless stripper working multiple jobs in the hope that one day he can start his own business. He meets The Kid - Alex Pettyfer (I Am Number Four, In Time) - on a job one day and invites him back to the club, shoving him totally unprepared on stage to strip terribly in baggy undies in front of a packed house of screaming ladies. He joins the gang which includes; Big Dick Richie (Joe Manganiello), Ken (Matt Bomer), Tarzan (Kevin Nash), Tito (Adam Rodriguez) and ring leader Dallas (Matthew McConaughey).

IMDB's synopsis - A male stripper teaches a younger performer how to party, pick up women and make easy money - is what follows. Things get a little hairy. Mike's friend Joanna (Olivia Munn) - who I immediately recognized as Sloan from The Newsroom! - dumps him, while The Kid's sister Brooke (Cody Horn) goes nuts at Mike for not looking after her little brother.

So there is some story line, which is great, but none of these story-lines actually conclude. Mike wants to start his own business, bank knocks him back but we never see if he did it or not. The Kid goes off the rails selling drugs and ends up owing some bad people lots of money. Mike pays the debt off for him and then leaves the club and The Kid takes up his spot. We've hear about Miami the whole way through the film and even though everyone seems really happy about that, we don't hear much more about it. There is not enough Matt Bomer. Mike has the hots for The Kid's sister and even though we see a little flirting and one kiss as the closing scene; that's pretty much it.

The hotness almost cancelled out the crappy plot...almost. I could have looked past it if they had showed us Mike starting his own business and The Kid running the show in Miami, but they didn't and I was left disappointed. So if you want to see this movie, make sure you're only watching it for the glistening abs...

2 out of 5 six-packs...

TV: Beauty & The Beast SE1 EP2

Beauty & The Beast
Crime, Drama

I wasn't going to watch this but I'd heard a little bit about it and being a sucker for anything new...or old... anything... I thought I'd give it a try. It's not too shabby, I 'spose. Typical beauty and the beast storyline, modernised and cop-show'ed.... yes, I'm making words up now, what about it?

Catherine Chandler (Kristin Kreuk) is the beauty who witnessed her mothers' murder and was saved from death herself by a mysterious humanoid beast. Years later, she has completed her education and is now a determined homicide detective. It's here that she runs into the supposedly deceased Vincent Keller (Jay Ryan who I recognised from Terra Nova and Neighbours) who is she discovers is her beastly saviour.

Keller signed up to a secret army project where they injected him with hormones and gene changing potions of some kind, causing a gene splice between him and some kind of animal. Apparently it was meant to create the perfect soldier with heightened senses and superior physical skills, which it did but when  their adrenaline kicks in these soldiers go all beasty and lose control of themselves. At least, that's the gist I'm getting...

Not sure why I started watching or why I'm going to continue watching, it's not that great and it's another cop show and I'm sure you know how I feel about too many cop shows...

2 out of 5 genetic mutations...