TV: Mass Post... Part II

Woah! Two days in a row, you lucky people! Today I'm going to discuss some of this season's new shows and how they're going so far, starting with my favourite...

From Dusk Till Dawn! I'm pretty sure I've already had a bit of a fangirl gush over Quentin Tarentino (Kill Bill, Pulp Fiction) and Robert Rodriguez (Sin City, Planet Terror) and man was I excited when I heard Rodriguez was adapting this classic for TV. It is very much the same story; the Gecko brothers, Seth (DJ Cotrona) and Richie (Zane Holtz), rob a bank and run over the border to a Mexican bar called the Titty Twister filled with vampires. We get a bit more of the back story this time, so it's not completely the same, and the vampires are more like snakes than traditional vampires, which I love! But it's still full of the classic gory, limb ripping, blood spurting awesomeness backed by the sounds of Chingon that is Rodrigez's classic style. I especially enjoy Jake Busey (Starship Troopers) as Sex Machine. I look forward to watching this every week.

The 100 is about 100 (surprise) kids who've been sent back to Earth to make sure it's livable for the rest of human society, who are still stuck on a mish-mash of spaceships orbiting what they believe to be a radioactive Earth. Well, Earth is livable and what ensues is a kind of Lord of the Flies scenario... until they realise that the 100 are not the only people still on the planet! We don't know a lot about the mysterious grounders yet, or the planet, or the affect of the nuclear bombs. Something happens in every episode to make me want to continue. It's a largely unknown cast but I'm pretty sure that was Aussie Dichen Lachman (Dollhouse) in the preview for next week's episode! So I guess we'll see how this season plays out...

The hubs and I have been charmed by young Bo (Johnny Sequoyah) who has amazing powers in Believe. Everyone seems to love Bo and she spends each episode hunting down people via premonitions she gets and helping them... she really is irresistible. She's being hunted by some private organisation called Orchestra that wants to study her and so Bo and her dad Tate (Jake McLaughlin) and the rest their team of ex-Orchestra specialists spend most of their time running and hiding while helping people along the way. Just a nice, feel-good show for once... sorta...

Intelligence: a show about a guy - Gabriel (Josh Holloway) - with a chip in his head that can connect him to any computer system, satellite, camera... pretty much anything electronic. I'm sure there is another show with this same idea but I'm just fascinated by it and the way Gabriel uses it. The idea of being able to build a virtual crime scene in his mind... yes, I'm interested. Plus, I really like his spunky partner played by Meghan Ory (Once Upon A Time). It's a mix of thriller and drama with a twist of science fiction. It's just finished season one and we're waiting to see whether it will be picked up for a second.

In Crisis a whole bunch of really important kids have been kidnapped while on a school trip. When I say important, I mean the President's son important. The kidnappers are ex-CIA and from what I can gather so far, they are trying to expose a corrupt program within the CIA... I think that's the aim anyway. Each episode, the FBI get a little closer but they are being roadblocked not only by the kidnappers but also by the CIA itself. The kidnappers have been using the parents of these children to accomplish tasks, each task is a piece of the puzzle with the goal (I think) of exposing the CIA program. It's a little confusing, it's a little hectic and I'm always wondering when things are going to fall apart and for which group of people... It took me nearly a whole episode to recognise Gillian Anderson (The X-Files) and even then, it was her voice that gave her away. She is looking fantastic and very unScullylike.

I just found out that Almost Human has been cancelled after a single 13 episode season. I am not the only person saying the Fox is where SciFi goes to die. I really enjoyed it and I'm sad it won't be back. Another awesome SciFi show that's finishing up is Warehouse 13, one of my favourites! But at least it was given the chance to round it all up in this short 6 episode season... 2 episodes left. I will write sad pandas about this later... Also disappointed I didn't get to see the whole season of Killer Women before it was canned; they skipped an episode and I missed some important bits goddamnit! Much annoyance. Another awesome show doesn't make the cut, ugh!

So there ya'll go! Some new shows and some that are finishing up. Anyone watching anything new? I am interested to hear what people think of Star-Crossed, I have yet to check it out. There's still a few regular shows missing from these updates... so there may be a Part III... later.

Love Gee
xoxo

Movie: Machete Kills (2013)

Machete Kills
Action, Crime, Thriller

I have been waiting for this for years! Just how many stars can Robert Rodriguez (Sin City, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, Planet Terror) fit into one movie? I'll tell you just how many... in just a second. I'm a huge Rodriguez fan, I mean how can you not be with a resume of films like he's got? Plus all the music from all his films is by his band Chingon (did you notice that the armored ute had Chingon printed across the back window?). He is very Quentin Tarantino (Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs), probably because those two have spent the majority of their movie making careers bouncing off each other, just look at the Grindhouse films.

Ok, so back to all the awesome stars! If you haven't seen the first Machete then for goodness sake, go watch it! I should probably mention here that you shouldn't get attached to any of the characters, they tend to die a lot no matter who they are... unless it's Machete played by Danny Trejo (Sons of Anarchy, From Dusk Til Dawn) - he never dies! Jessica Alba (Sin City, Dark Angel) revives her role as Agent Sartana from the last film for about 5 minutes before being shot in the head. Vanessa Hudgens (High School Musical, Sucker Punch) plays a not so sweet virgin for about 5 minutes before being shot and thrown out of a helicopter. Though I half expected Alba to reappear ala She from the last film... but it didn't happen. Also reprising a role from the first film is Osiris (Tom Savini) who nailed Padre to the cross. Does Machete forgive him? I'll let you find out.

I laughed so hard when I heard Charlie Sheen (Two and a Half Men) aka Carlos Estevez (I always wondered why he didn't keep his actual name, it's so much cooler than Charlie Sheen....) was the President of the USA. He played the role really well actually. I've heard he's really hard to work with and I kept expecting to want to laugh at him for mucking around, but he's actually a good fit! Funny that... Oh, and he legalised marijuana! Booyah! Ha!

Amber Heard (Zombieland, Pineapple Express) plays Machete's handler, assigned by the President. She's under cover as pageant contestant, Miss San Antonio. There is a hilarious moment when her and Machete get it ornnn and the words "Put on 3D glasses now!" flash across the screen. I'm pretty sure it was a joke and that you wouldn't see anything even if you did have 3D glasses, but so hilarious!

Sofia Vergara (Modern Family) was amazing! She plays a hard core Madam on a vengeance rampage for her daughter (Vanessa Hudgens) and her weapons are crazy awesome. The machine gun bra was just the beginning of it and her one liners were awesome. She does the crazy laugh and frustrated scream so well, it really fits with the style of the whole film. I was left wondering how often she would have to calibrate the guns to shoot straight...

Let's talk about my favourite character - the faceless assassin, The Chameleon. I was so thrilled to see Walton Goggins (The Shield, Sons of Anarchy) walk into the bar as The Chameleon. Then he rips his face off and suddenly he's Cuba Gooding Jr (Jerry Maguire, Men of Honor)! Hell yeah! But wait, that's not all! The majority of The Chameleon's screen time is played by Lady Gaga (uhh, the musician, have you been living under a rock?!) who's outfits actually work really well with this film. She does a great job and I really hope she will be in more Rodriguez / Tarantino flicks. Just when you think The Chameleon is done for and that they wouldnt be able to come up with any more famous names to take his face... along comes Antonio Banderas (Desperado, Puss In Boots). Seriously Rodriguez, you are amazing!

Yes, Michelle Rodriguez (The Fast and The Furious, Resident Evil) is back, reprising her role as SHE, with the one eye looking sexy as hell with the eyepatch. I don't want to say too much about what happens with her... I've given you enough spoilers... but she kicks some serious ass and the preview for Machete Kills Again: In Space... Some other characters spotted from the previous movie are the gun toting nurses and the vomiting border patrol guy. Just when you think they couldn't possibly fit in any more major names, along comes Mel Gibson (Braveheart, The Patriot) to play the villain! I know, my head is kersploding too. How is that for a cast!?

This review is getting massively long but I have to list a few of the awesome deaths I saw including; Helicopter and Boat propellers, a guy in a wheelchair being rocket bombed, machetes cutting off all sorts of body parts, a molecular blaster that turns people inside out, Mel Gibson's face being burnt off and finally, death by pageant crown! I laughed and laughed!

Such a good movie. Loved it! Will watch again and recommend. Just remember not to take it too seriously and you will enjoy it too.

5 out of 5 tacos...

SHE "Taco Time!"

Machete "Machete don't tweet."

Miss San Antonio "Try not to be distracted by the cleavage and the hairspray, its my cover."